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Category: The Onion
Trump Could Lose Control Of Trump Tower After Fraud Ruling
Donald Trump could be at risk of losing control of his New York business properties, including Trump Tower, after a judge found that the former president and his company liable for fraud. What do you think?Read more…
Senator Dianne Feinstein, Trailblazer In Being Old, Dead At 90
WASHINGTON—Having been alive as far back as 1933, Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, a trailblazer in being old, died Thursday night at age 90. “Sen. Feinstein, born Dianne Goldman, started off young but through hard work and dedication rose through …
‘The Onion’ Looks Back On 90 Years Of Dianne Feinstein Dying
Dianne Feinstein, who served as a senator of California since 1992, died Thursday night at the age of 90. The Onion looks back at 31 years of Feinstein becoming elderly while in office. Read more…
Chiefs Fans React To Travis Kelce Dating Taylor Swift
With news spreading that pop star Taylor Swift is dating Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, The Onion asked Chiefs fans what they thought about the power couple, and this is what they said. Read more…
Report: Sister Just Sitting On Boyfriend’s Lap Right There At Family Dinner
FERNDALE, CA—Trying to ignore the awkward display of affection being carried out between the two, 15-year-old Scott Barnard reported Friday that his sister Tabitha was just sitting on her boyfriend’s lap in front of the whole family during dinner. “We …
Your dream home!
Sometimes, dreams do come true. Not this time, though. Buy this mediocre home and then imagine you live somewhere much, much better. Back deck with light wood rot an ideal place to fantasize about a superior domicile.Read more…
U.S. Mint Releases Collection Of Coins Featuring Child Molester From Every State
WASHINGTON—Unveiling a commemorative series created in honor of the nation’s most renowned pedophiles, the U.S. Mint announced the release Friday of a new collection of coins that featured a child molester from every state in the union. “This fun, coll…
Trader Joe’s Adds New Fitting Rooms Where Customers Can See How Food Will Look In Their Mouth
MONROVIA, CA—Announcing that renovations had been made to all 560 locations, grocery chain Trader Joe’s confirmed this week that they had added fitting rooms so customers could see how their food would look in their mouths. “Too often, a customer will …
This Week’s Most Viral News: September 29, 2023
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