EARTH—In a bold announcement to all of His children, God unveiled the creation of an ultra-realistic metaverse where people can talk, learn, and work with other people, stating this unique new metaverse will be called “Universe.”
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Category: The Babylon Bee
Biden: ‘I Apologize For Calling All The Colored Folks Negroes’
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After stirring controversy by referring to legendary baseball player Satchel Paige as a "negro," Biden came forward today to apologize for his gaffe.
The post Biden: ‘I Apologize For Calling A…
Can You Spot All The Signs Of Racism In This Ordinary Picture Of A Highway?
Racism is baked into the very asphalt of our highways, Pete Buttigieg tells us. And, like good American citizens, we believe everything an unelected bureaucrat tells us. So, we found a picture of an ordinary U.S. highway and started looking at it thro…
Lone Holdout Still Clapping When Second Verse Hits
VINEYARD HILLS, CA—According to sources at Christ Church of the Valleyhills, one lone holdout was still clapping when the second verse of "Your Love Is Strong" hit.
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Sesame Street Sends Important Message That All Good Puppets Get Vaccinated
NEW YORK, NY—In a critically acclaimed episode on Sesame Street, Big Bird taught his young audience the important life lesson that all good puppets should happily receive the vaccination and whatever else Big Pharma wants to put in you…
Aaron Rodgers Beats Fiancée, Murders A Few Guys On The Street So NFL Will Embrace Him Again
GREEN BAY, WI—Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers stirred up controversy last week when it was discovered that instead of taking the safe and effective Covid vaccine, like all the other NFL players, he had immunized himself by drink…
Progress: U.S. Military Introduces Very First Gender-Neutral Bomb
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Many have charged the U.S. military with becoming “woke” in recent years, and more fuel has been added to that fire with the latest announcement from the Pentagon: The U.S. military is unveiling a gender-neutral bomb…
YouTube Removes 138,000 Dislikes From Biden Videos In Middle Of Night
SAN BRUNO, CA—According to sources, YouTube inexplicably removed 138,000 dislikes from Biden videos on its platform somewhere around 3 a.m. this morning.
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‘That Boy Was Fake-Crying!’ Says Man Who Bursts Into Tears Whenever Someone Lightly Brushes His Elbow
SACRAMENTO, CA—After seeing Kyle Rittenhouse take the stand and weep as he recounted having to shoot at bloodthirsty Antifa savages in self-defense, sportsball player LeBron James was quick to criticize Rittenhouse’s tears as fake.
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Honoring Brian Williams: Top 10 Moments Of His Remarkable Career In Journalism
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