U.S.—With hospitals facing historic labor shortages, many are automating their workforce by replacing doctors with slick new television kiosks that just play Pfizer commercials to patients.
The post Automation: Mor…
Category: The Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee Presents: COVID Christmas Carols
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‘Am I Out Of Touch?’ Pelosi Asks Butler
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Sources close to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reported witnessing a rare moment of thoughtful introspection as she set down her silver bowl of imported ice cream and asked her butler, “Am I out of touch?”
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Embarrassing: British Realize They’ve Been Using The Wrong Words For Hundreds Of Things
LONDON—The United Kingdom is a quaint little island country in Europe that speaks English as its primary language—much like the U.S. And while they’ve always thought a lot of themselves—even having a Queen, like something out o…
Rudolph Changes Name To Rolanda, Dominates Female Reindeer Games
NORTH POLE—Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer received praise for taking a stunning and brave stance against outdated binary gender stagnation by changing his name to Rolanda and subsequently dominating every field in the North Pole’s annual F…
Grandma Gets The Worst Of Another Heated Exchange With Alexa
HUNTSVILLE, AL—Local grandmother Jean Hanson lost another confrontation with her Alexa digital assistant while trying to ask her Echo device how the grandkids were doing, sources close to the woman confirmed.
The post Grandma…
Brave: Chris Wallace Comes Out Of Closet As Fake News Journalist
ATLANTA, GA—After being in the closet for over 18 years at Fox News, news anchor Chris Wallace has come out officially as a fake news journalist. After being turned down by The Babylon Bee, Wallace will make the move over to CNN’s new streaming service.
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Biden Sends Two Guys Holding Horse Reigns To Help Defend Ukraine Border
UKRAINE—As Russia prepares to invade Ukraine, President Biden has responded decisively by sending a couple guys from the Texas border to beat back the advancing forces.
The post Biden Sends Two Guys Holding Horse Reigns…
Not Again: Smollett Claims He Was Assaulted By Two Prison Guards In MAGA Hats
CHICAGO, IL—Smollett has been detained after his conviction pending his sentencing hearing. But he’s already run into trouble, immediately claiming that two prison guards wearing MAGA hats attacked him while shouting “This is MAGA country!”
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Time Magazine Names Hillary Clinton President Of The Year
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