RICHMOND, VA—For the past few weeks, polls have shown momentum in Glenn Youngkin’s favor in the Virginia governor’s race, as he has taken the lead over Terry McAuliffe in most polls. McAuliffe appears increasingly desperate to move o…
Category: The Babylon Bee
Nike Arranges Special Screening Of Kaepernick Documentary For Uighur Concentration Camps
XINJIANG, CHINA—Nike has decided to give a special treat to their Uighur slaves, setting up an exclusive showing of the new documentary by spokesman Colin Kapernick about his experience being enslaved as a millionaire pro quarterback.
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Biden Wakes Up From The Strangest Dream That He Was Attending International Climate Conference
GLASGOW—Joe Biden informed aides yesterday that he woke up from the most bizarre dream that he was attending a climate change meeting with a bunch of world leaders.
The post Biden Wakes Up From The Strangest Dream That He Was…
Checkmate, Libs: Man Declares His Pronouns Are Letsgo/Brandon
OMGEEEEEEE LIBS ARE NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS ONE!!!!
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Here Are 8 Less Offensive Alternatives To The Braves Tomahawk Chop
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Father Informs Daughter Of New Tax On Unrealized Halloween Candy Gains
FORT WAYNE, IN—According to sources, local dad Greg Farson taught his children a valuable lesson about taxation today after his kids woke up the day after Halloween to find all their Reeses cups and Snickers bars had been taken.
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Wife Buys Containers To Hold Other Containers
WABASH, IN—Trisha Alverson reportedly returned home from one of the city’s container stores with a fresh supply of containers to hold containers she already owns. She reminded her befuddled husband to not worry because all 38 containers of…
Poll Finds American Public Trusts Empty Podium Over Jen Psaki
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A recent poll suggests Americans have more trust in White House press conferences ever since journalists have been posing questions to the empty podium rather than Jen Psaki, who was recently infected with COVID-19.
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‘I Just Think This Let’s Go Brandon Thing Is Really Disrespectful,’ Says Man Wearing F— TRUMP T-Shirt
ALBANY, NY—As chants of “Let’s Go Brandon” spread around the country, many Democrats have expressed concern over treating the office of President with such disrespect.
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Kaepernick Sad That No Slave Owner Will Enslave Him No Matter How Many Times He Tries Out To Be A Slave
NEW YORK, NY – In his new six-episode limited series on Netflix, Colin Kaepernick proudly proclaimed that no NFL slave owner will ever enslave him no matter how many times he tries out to be a slave. After being emancipated from his former …