Category: Portland Mercury

Good Morning, News: COVID Strains Hospital System, Portland Doesn’t Want to Return to the Office, and RUN, JOSH HAWLEY, RUN!

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by Wm. Steven Humphrey

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! You’ve made it to Friday, and now allll you have to do is make it through these NEWS briefs. (And then maybe a few other tiny things.) I know you can do this… LET’S GO!

• Mayor Ted Wheeler has declared a city-wide state of emergency to combat the rising number of shootings in Portland, setting a goal of reducing gun-related fatalities by 10 percent over the next two years. But will his proposed plan work? Our Alex Zielinski dives into the details.

• The Oregon Health Authority is urging people across the state to start masking up again to stem the surge of COVID cases, which is starting to severely strain the already beleaguered hospital system. 

• According to a new survey of Portland city employees, the majority of them intend on continuing to work from home at least three days out of the week, and will consider quitting if they aren’t allowed to do so.

• If you’re looking for a lot of laughs in a row this weekend, our Suzette Smith has the perfect suggestion: The Siren Theater’s annual Portland Sketch Comedy Fest, which brings top-notch funny-makers from around North America, and comes highly recommended from yours truly as well!

• It’s gonna be hitting 100 degrees for at least a couple days next week, so get prepared and take care of yourself and your neighbors. (I’m prepping by drinking $6 boozy, frozen cocktails from our fave bars with the Mercury‘s SUMMER OF SLUSHIES—but maybe that’s just me.)

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• It was another humdinger of a hearing last night from the January 6 commission, which focused on Trump’s despicable, intentional inaction as domestic terrorists attacked the nation’s capitol. Here are the top takeaways: 1) Practically everyone in Trump’s sphere begged him to say something to stop the attack, as he sat for hours doing nothing (except for calling senators and asking them to stop the electoral vote counting. 2) The violent throng came within several feet of Vice President Pence, and his security detail was so frantic, some were calling their families to say goodbye. 3) Even on the day after the attack, while taping a response, Trump refused to say the election was over and he lost. “I just want to say Congress has certified the results without saying the election is over,” he told staff. 4) The hearing room (and my living room) erupted in laughter when fist-pumping Jan 6 supporter Sen. Josh Hawley was shown running away from the mob like a scared little…. well, you know.

• Closing arguments are expected today in the contempt of Congress trial of Trump toady Steve Bannon, who declined to testify yesterday after his defense only called two witnesses. 

• President Biden has tested positive for COVID-19—but don’t panic! He is reportedly only experiencing mild symptoms and is taking Paxlovid (a drug that can lessen the severity of the virus) while he works from the President’s residence for the next five days.

• Why do I suspect my cat is somehow responsible for this: “NASA’s rover finds spaghetti-like bundle of string on Mars.”

• And finally… here’s the perfect recipe for making “low-key terrified” iced tea.

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Figured You Out, the UPDATE

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by Anonymous

I’m not going down this road. I already have one “friend” I buy everything for whenever we’re together because he’s in need, and couldn’t afford it otherwise. I dont need anoth…

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I Figured You Out

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by Anonymous

I remember hearing a song with this title by Mary Lou Lord 20 years ago. I love the song and still hear it now and again. I love her and saw her once here in Portland 15 years …

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