The governor of Montana, Greg Gianforte, shot and killed a mountain lion that was being monitored by Yellowstone National Park staff, his second such hunt of a monitored animal that ventured outside the protected areas of the park. What do you think?Re…
Author: The Onion
Trucker Convoy Protest In D.C. Seen As Flop After No One Shows Up
A trucker rally, modeled after recent demonstrations in Canada to protest Covid mandates, took place in Washington, D.C. during the president’s State of the Union address Tuesday but failed to bring the thousands of attendees the organizers expected, w…
Latest Climate Change Report Just Heartfelt Farewell Letter Telling Humanity To Remember The Good Times
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TV Shows Based On Real Events That Were Made Way Too Soon
Historical events might make incredible television, but it often makes sense to wait until enough time has passed to reflect on events. Here are several TV shows based on real stories that were made way, way too soon.Read more…
U.S. Seizes New York City Borough Belonging To Russian Oligarch
NEW YORK—Saying the billionaire had used the asset as his own private pleasure island for decades, the U.S. Justice Department announced Thursday that it had seized a New York City borough belonging to Russian oligarch Alisher Usmanov. “When Usmanov bo…
Must-Read Reflections On The Situation In Ukraine
Russia’s recent invasion of Ukraine has prompted a flurry of reflections, demands, and predictions across the media landscape, each more correct than the last. The Onion sifts through the many reflections published by lesser news organizations to find …
Woman Promises Free Beer, Pizza For Any Friends Who Help Her Move Body Out Of Apartment
WHITEFISH, MT—Saying she would be incredibly grateful for volunteers, local woman Blaire Nichols reportedly promised free beer and pizza Thursday for any friends who helped her move a body out of her apartment. “You’d definitely be doing me a solid bec…
Drano Introduces New Shampoo For Eliminating Drain-Clogging Hair At Source
RACINE, WI—Touting the gel as the proactive solution to common plumbing blockages, Drano introduced a new shampoo Thursday for eliminating drain-clogging hair at its source. “Whether your hair is dry and frizzy or oily and sleek, we guarantee our shamp…
Scallops And Tractors: Together At Last!
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Ukrainian Sailor Attempts To Sink Russian Oligarch’s Superyacht
A Ukrainian sailor has been arrested in Mallorca after attempting to sink a $6.6 million yacht owned by his employer, a Russian CEO of an arms exporter, as revenge after seeing footage of a Russian rocket attack on a block of apartments in his hometown…