A new Pew Research Center study has found that Christians will make up less than half of the U.S. population by 2070, as Americans raised Christian continue to disaffiliate from their religion. What do you think?Read more…
Author: The Onion
Scientists Announce Earth’s Sewage No Longer Drinkable
WASHINGTON—In the first comprehensive, global survey of its kind, an international team of chemists published a study Tuesday in the journal Environmental Science And Technology that found the Earth’s sewage is no longer drinkable. “After collecting wa…
Grizzled Old Man Caught Off Guard Hasn’t Heard That Name In A Long Time
HAVANA, CUBA—Freezing with his whiskey neat raised to his lips as a stranger addressed him from behind, a grizzled old man caught off guard Tuesday reportedly hasn’t heard that name in a long time. “Well, well, well, I haven’t heard that name in 50 yea…
Woman Tries Meeting New People By Popping Out Different Manholes Than Usual
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1,000-Year-Old German Choir Admits Girls For First Time
The Regensburger Domspatzen, a German choir founded in the year 975 for boys and young men, is now accepting girls into its music school for the first time, though they will perform in a separate choir. What do you think?Read more…
Martha’s Vineyard Residents React To DeSantis Flying Migrants To Island
After Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis sent two planes of migrants to Martha’s Vineyard, The Onion asked local residents how they felt about the new arrivals to their posh community.Read more…
The Royal Line Of Succession
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Reverend Delays Queen’s Funeral Few More Minutes To See If Even One Person Shows Up
LONDON—Deciding to give it just a few more minutes, the Very Rev. Dr. David Hoyle, dean of Westminster, reportedly delayed Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral Monday to see if even one person would show up. “It’s a shame with a lot of these older folks, virtu…
Top Issues Of The 2022 Midterms
The 2022 midterms are fast approaching, and a range of pressing issues will determine whether Americans will reelect a Democratic Congress or hand congressional control to Republicans. The Onion polled all 330 million Americans to find out which issues…
Meghan Markle Enters 10th Day Of Unshakably Great Mood
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