The recently released Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story has been criticized by several victims’ family members, some of whom are depicted in the miniseries. The Onion looks at the most infamous instances of people who hated their onscreen portrayals in…
Author: The Onion
Scientists Announce Earth’s Sewage No Longer Drinkable
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What Should We Do About The Supreme Court?
As the Supreme Court begins a new term following a year filled with controversial decisions, including the overturning of Roe v. Wade, some critics have called the court’s legitimacy into question. The Onion polled all 330 million Americans for ideas o…
Most Controversial Texts Sent To Elon Musk About Twitter
After Elon Musk’s texts became public because of his legal dispute with Twitter, The Onion compiled and published the most disturbing, demented, and bizarre messages the Tesla CEO received.Read more…
Report: This Our Annual Headline About Hockey
CHICAGO—With the season about to start, reporters at The Onion’s downtown offices stated Friday that this is our annual headline about hockey. So here you go, sources confirmed. The cultural presence of the National Hockey League basically requires us …
Tom Brady Urges Rob Gronkowski To Join Him For Last Year Of Marriage
TAMPA BAY, FL—Promising that together, there was nothing the former teammates couldn’t do, Tom Brady reportedly urged Rob Gronkowski on Friday to join him in Tampa for his last year of marriage. “Hey man, I know you said you were done, but there’s no o…
Biden Tries To Hammer Board Into Sand To Kick Off Post-Hurricane Rebuilding Efforts
FORT MEYERS BEACH, FL—After surveying the devastation of Hurricane Ian along the Florida Gulf Coast, President Joe Biden held a press event Friday at which he tried to hammer a ceremonial board into the sand to kick off the area’s rebuilding efforts. “…
Velma Confirmed As Lesbian In New ‘Scooby-Doo’ Film After Years Of Ambiguity
A new Scooby-Doo Halloween special will be depicting Velma as a lesbian on screen, putting to rest decades of speculation about the beloved character’s sexuality, in the first definitive portrayal of her as queer in the popular cartoon franchise. What …
Ecologists Disappointed After Finding Monarch Butterflies Hiding Pack Of Cigarettes In Habitat
INDIANAPOLIS—Discussing how best to discipline the species, local ecologists reportedly expressed disappointment Friday after finding a pack of cigarettes that monarch butterflies had hidden in their habitat. “All the work we do to keep you healthy and…
Popular New Fitness Class Standing On One Leg While EDM Blasts
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