Author: The Onion

Study Finds Plants Make Noises When Stressed

A new study has found that “stressed” plants that have not been watered for several days or had their stems cut emit ultrasonic clicking noises that are undetectable to the human ear but may be heard by insects and other animals. What do you think?Read…

Dalai Lama Agrees To Box Pope For Charity

LAS VEGAS—Promising the match would be the fight of the millennium, the Dalai Lama reportedly agreed this week to box Pope Francis for charity. “I’m calling out my longtime spiritual rival, the pope, for a 10-round, winner-take-all bout to raise aware…