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Author: The Onion
Anti-Abortion Advocate Excitedly Switches Focus To Shaming Young Unwed Mothers
DALLAS—In the wake of the Supreme Court’s 6-3 decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, local anti-abortion advocate Mary Firkins, 54, excitedly announced Friday that she would now switch her full-time attention to the shaming of young unwed mothers. “It’s bee…
Nation’s Centrists Stubbornly Double Down On Claim That Roe v. Wade Not At Risk
NEW YORK—Asserting there was no need to worry about the highly unlikely outcome, the nation’s centrists reportedly doubled down Friday on their claim that Roe v. Wade was not at risk. “People are blowing this whole idea of overturning Roe completely ou…
Kavanaugh, Thomas Champion Creating Better Future For Next Generation Of Rapists
WASHINGTON—In a touching moment following Friday’s Supreme Court’s 6-3 decision overruling Roe v. Wade and eliminating the constitutional right to an abortion, Justices Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas reportedly championed the better future they’d …
Woman’s Preventable Death During Childbirth Upheld In 6-3 Supreme Court Vote
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Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out
Coming out as LGBTQIA+ is a pivotal moment in someone’s life, so it’s always best to not fuck that up. If you want to be a good ally, never say the following things.Read more…
O’Hare Airport Unveils New 950-Mile Moving Walkway To Dallas-Fort Worth
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Failure To Stand On One Leg For 10 Seconds Linked To Increased Risk Of Death
According to a new study, middle-aged people who cannot stand on one leg for at least 10 seconds are at higher risk of dying within the next decade, with researchers saying the simple balance test may be useful to include in routine physical exams for …
Canada Banning Single-Use Plastics
Canada will be banning the manufacture and importation of single-use plastics by the end of the year, in a sweeping effort to fight pollution and climate change. What do you think?Read more…
TikTok, Do Your Thing: Please Scratch Our Back
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