After months of anticipation, Congress has finally unveiled the release schedule for all the upcoming installments in the January 6th universe! With big-name directors and a host of new characters, the ever-expanding reach of January 6t…
Author: The Babylon Bee
Aides Worried Biden May Have Concussion As He Starts Speaking Coherently
REHOBOTH BEACH, DE—Aides are fearful President Biden may have suffered a severe concussion from his bike wreck this morning, as he has suddenly begun speaking coherently.
The post Aides Worried Biden May Have Concussion As He…
‘When I Was Your Age, Gas Was $2.00 A Gallon’ Says Guy To His Buddy Who’s 1 Year Younger Than Him
FORT WORTH, TX—Local 80-year-old Norman Rellis spent the afternoon telling his 79-year-old friend Wallace about how gas used to be two dollars per gallon back when he was Wallace’s age.
The post ‘When I Was Your Age, Gas Was $2.00 A Gallon’ Says Guy To His Buddy Who’s 1 Year Younger Than Him appeared first on The Babylon Bee.
Man Checks News Each Morning To See Whether Coffee Going To Give Him Cancer Or Grant Him Immortality
BUFFALO, NY—Local man Andrés Rodriguez checked today’s news to see if his morning cup of coffee would be be causing imminent death or granting him immortality.
The post Man Checks News Each Morning To See Whether Coffee Going To Give Him Cancer Or Grant Him Immortality appeared first on The Babylon Bee.
Chickens Hold Controversial ‘Fox Story Hour’ In Chicken Coop
FARMINGTON, MO—Progressive chickens at Stoodland Farms held a "Fox Storytime Hour" Friday, which some of the older hens considered controversial. During the event, various foxes were invited into the coop to read a story to the yo…
User Was Really Enjoying App Until The App Asked If He Was Enjoying The App
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—Despite being an avid user, Dean Donaldson saw his feelings about a favorite app take a sharp turn today when he received an abrupt notification asking him if he was enjoying the app.
Banned From National Retailers, Lindell Forced To Engage In Back Alley Pillow Deals
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Explorers Discover Remote Island Untouched By Pride Month
PACIFIC OCEAN—In what experts are calling a statistical impossibility, intrepid explorers have announced the discovery of a remote island in a secluded corner of the Pacific Ocean that has been untouched by Pride Month.
Tampon Supply Shortage Solved By Emptying Out Tampons In The Men’s Bathrooms
U.S.—Americans are facing yet another basic necessity shortage under the Biden Administration. This time a tampon shortage has struck the nation and caused many women to wonder what they will do when they run out of their essential fem…
Bowing To Pressure From LGBTQ+ Activists, Next Jan. 6 Hearing To Include A Gay Kiss
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After increased pressure from lobbyists representing the LGBTQ+ community, the January 6th Committee has announced they will be including a same-sex kiss in their next hearing.
The post Bowing To Pressur…