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Author: Hemingway & Weingarten, RCI

Feds Ignore Mass Illegal Immigrant ID Theft, Victims

by Hemingway & Weingarten, RCI • June 30, 2022

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Tech Support: "Thank you for calling customer service, and how may I help you?" Customer: "I can't get it to do." Tech Support: "Excuse me, ma'am?" Customer: "I can't get my Internet to do." Tech Support: "Let's check your setup." Customer: "Okey dokey." Tech Support: "Are you at your desktop?" Customer: "Yes." Tech Support: "Do a double click on the 'My Computer' icon." Customer: "I don't see that one." Tech Support: "What screen are you on, and what does you desktop look like?" Customer: "Wood." Tech Support: "What's on your screen, ma'am?" Customer: "A bunch of names." Tech Support: "Like what?" Customer: "Bill, George, Larry, Jim." Tech Support: "What screen are you on?" Customer: "I am on the one I'm on. I need to go get my daughter. She's the computer guru of the family." Tech Support: "Great, thank you." April: "Hi, I'm April, and you are?" Tech Support: "Mike." April: "Mike. Cool, dude." Tech Support: "Are you at your desktop?" April: "You will have to excuse my mother. She's a little dense." Tech Support: "No problem." April: "How old are you?" Tech Support: "300 years old. I'm the 'Highlander.' Um, would you do a double click on the 'My Computer' icon?" April: "Sorry, I don't see that one." Tech Support: "What do you see?" April: "Bill, George, Larry, and Jim." Tech Support: "What version of Windows are you using?" April: "Ninety-something I guess." Tech Support: "Erm. Shut down the computer and reboot." April: "Ok...." (pause) "Done." Tech Support: "What does your screen say? April: "Bill, Larry, Jim, Barbie, and Wimper." Tech Support: "Just for kicks, do a double click on 'Bill,' and see what happens." April: "What is this?" Tech Support: "What did it do?" April: "It now has little folders: modems, devices, etc." Tech Support: "Why was your 'My Computer' icon named Bill?" April: "I wanted to name it something cute. Did I screw up?"

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