Author: Ali Breland

All the Twitter Teams Elon Musk Has Cut (So Far)

After a lengthy period of “will he or won’t he,” that’s gone on since last April, Elon Musk finally bought Twitter for the hilarious price of $54.20 per share—$44 billion total—a much higher price than what many analysts consider the company to be worth. Following the acquisition, Musk started telling people that he planned to […]

Elon Musk Made It His Job To Make Himself Look Dumb

In 1987, Oliver Stone released Wall Street. The film, in theory, was an indictment of the rapacious excess wrought by rising financialization. At the center was Gordon Gekko, played by Michael Douglas. “The personification of heartless 1980s excess,” according to the Washington Post, Gekko is calm and venal; suave but loathsome. Yet the film’s screenwriter, […]

Greg Norman: A Portrait of a Choke Artist as an Old Man

In 1996,  Australian golfer Greg Norman went into the last round of the Masters with a six-shot lead. Over eighteen holes, he beefed it. Norman lost—badly. And he cemented himself as the premier choke artist of his generation. “Rarely has a world-class athlete,” the New York Times noted of Norman’s collapse at the time, “so thoroughly […]

Requiem for a Dark Brandon

Not since Hillary Clinton dabbing on ‘em has a meme been so brutally murdered in public the way “Dark Brandon” was on Monday when several administration officials, and high-profile Democrats, started tweeting photos of president Joe Biden with laser eyes. If you’re not terminally online Dark Brandon is a riff on Dark MAGA, a short-lived meme about Trump. […]

The Police Failed, Says a Texas Congressional Report on Uvalde Mass Shooting

In a new report, a Texas Congressional committee criticized the “systemic and egregious poor decision making”  of the local, state and federal law enforcement who were present at the Uvalde mass shooting, in which 21 people died, many of them young children. “At Robb Elementary, law enforcement responders failed to adhere to their active shooter training, and they […]

A Republican Stood Up to Trump. So Right-Wingers Smeared Him as a “Pedophile.”

If you didn’t know any better, you could be forgiven for assuming that the far right was waging a campaign to get Merriam-Webster to add “my political enemies” to its list of definitions of “pedophile.” For years, “pedophile” (often shortened to “pedo”) was used as semi-ironic 4chan shorthand for anyone internet trolls thought was a weirdo. […]

Mass Shootings and Our Never-ending Doomcycle

The beats are almost always the same.  A shooter enters a crowded space with a loaded gun, usually one modified to kill dozens of people in seconds—and usually one that they obtained legally. They open fire and murder innocents. Earlier this month it was 10 patrons at a Buffalo supermarket; this week it was 19 children […]